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Today's Deep Thought

  • Sometimes when I feel like killing someone, I do a little trick to calm myself down. I'll go over to the person's house and ring the doorbell. When the person comes to the door, I'm gone, but you know what I've left on the porch? A jack-o-lantern with a knife stuck in the side of its head with a note that says "you." after that I usually feel a lot better, and no harm done.

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This is why i’m fat

 

I walked into the break room and saw all this food. i resisted.  Nothing good could come from any of that.  I was sitting down and one of the sales guys bring in a box of more donughts and wouldn’t take no for an answer.  Away from you you temptress. 

and when the lamb open the 7th seal, silence covered the land

i got home, after an extraordinary long day. We are getting rid of two older storage sheds to make room for a new larger one at the station. So… we spent much of the morning throwing stuff out into a roll-away dumpster. Sometime later that afternoon i was throwing away some old [...]

The Brass Chair Barbershop

we’re driving around one day and patti pointed out this new babershop close by the house.  I wonder if that was a hint?  The summer is usually my shaggy season.  probably remincinte of my cornerstone days.  something about showing up looking like one of the lost members of the beatles.  So anyway, this morning had [...]

Shocking Morning

So i’m getting up and ready… combing my hair minding my own business… when all of a sudden, out of the corner of my eye, i saw something so shocking it could shake my existence as we know it.  a white hair.  i know that others have been spotted before, but this is the first [...]

back to my high school weight

or at least that’s my goal.  They say that you gain weight when your married for some reason.  i don’t see why.  i’m not any taller now then i was back then.  so i’ve worked on cutting out the sodas, and tacobell, and mcdonalds. 
i’m not sitting around watching tv all the time or anything [...]

i think i’m dying

i’ve been in bed for the past three days.  coughing, sore throat, body aches.  this morning i went to the doctor and began feeling even worse.  he said it was bronchitis and gave me two pills.  i’ve felt so cooped up that i just had to get out today.. so i did.  went to church, [...]